This House is No Longer A Home

The Song writer Luther Vandross has a song called, When a house is no longer a home. He sings about how it is just empty and lonely with out the women that he loves. I never paid attention to that song until recently because I understand what he means.

A house is a special place where you are free to do anything you want. You take your time and decorate each room with the perfect colors and decorations. People take so much time preparing for guest to come in and admire how nice you have made your home. I can remember when my husband and I combined houses we went through his things and my things and we picked what was nicer and newer to stay and we sold or donated the rest. I can remember how my husband would brag and tell my family and his friends how I had two cheap pillows, and cheap sheets before we got married. He would laugh and say, “now she act brand new because she is sleeping on the most expensive sheets, and has eight pillows on the bed, and leaves me with just two pillows”. I would laugh so hard because he was telling the truth. You see I lived in a house, but in 2015 it became a home filled with love, joy, laughter, and pure happiness. It was a home where when that man walked through the door I smiled and was happy that he was home. It was a home when he would move through the house cleaning and cooking I smiled and was Thankful for a man who took care of things when I was tired. It was a home that smelled of Kenneth Cole cologne on Sunday Morning’s as he got dress to go to church to Preach. It was a home where we laid in bed and watched television together, and prayed before we went to bed at night. In 2019 on this day at 10:30 p.m. my home was no longer a home, it became a house with walls, floors, and a foundation. The love, laughter, and joy is no longer here. I move from room to room trying to make sense of what is next for my life. I look at the walls and I think a fresh coat of paint will help change the atmosphere and make things better, that has not helped. I even went and added more pillows to fill the empty space in the bed, that has not helped. I realize that my house will no longer be a home without my love here to share it with me.

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